is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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