So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
