i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
