Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
