Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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