you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize