We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
