so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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