I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
