I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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