Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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