you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
