i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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