How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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