so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
