I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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