I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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