I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
