can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
