i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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