just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
