Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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