She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.