We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.