That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
