I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
