Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
