Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Everclear isn't food dammit
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
