I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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