If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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