If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
