some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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