In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
