actually, I'm a sock model
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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