After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize