I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
