i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
