Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
