What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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