i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
