Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize