apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
