i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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