It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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