Already got asked if we're dating
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
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I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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