I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
