I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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