She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
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the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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