i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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