my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
