Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
