we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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