TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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