my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Reggie can tackle my bush.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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