there was a trapeze. enough said
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
