You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
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