there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
