i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
