My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
